"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Friday, August 10, 2007

Feelings Friday

(for less humor and less words, check out the abridged version)

Don’t tell anyone but I've watched Big Brother on CBS. It’s absolutely the stupidest reality show ever, and it’s in my veins and I must have more.
Like Survivor, every week someone gets kicked off, or “evicted” from the Big Brother house. As part of their going-away experience, their old housemates record some goodbyes for the loser to watch. Often, they’re message like “I’m going to miss you. We’re going to be best friends forever now” or “Good riddance, you lying, conniving twit.” And then there’s this whole conversation with the host Julie Chen.

So I was imagining what it would be like sitting with Julie and watching those video messages. Here’s my best vision of the interchange:
Me: “Hi, Julie. It’s nice to meet you in person.”
“Yes, how nice for you. I’m sure you wish it were under better
Me: “I can’t complain. I had a lot of fun on the
show, and I met some really interesting people.”
Julie: “Well, in the
event that you got booted from the show, your housemate recorded the following
messages for you.”

---begin video---
Amber: “[crying]…I can’t believe you’re gone. You were like the glue
that held the house together...[sob, wail, gnash teeth]”
Eric: “We should
just all quit now that you’re gone. You were our rock, our voice of reason
that helped make sense out of the craziness.”
Danielle: “When I grow
up, I want to be just like you.”
Zach: “There’s a hole in my heart that
can only be filled by you.”
Jen: “Thanks for all you’ve done in the
house. You were a role model for each and every one of us, and even though
you’ll no longer be present physically, I know that because of your investment
in so many friendships here, it’ll be like you’re still here.”
“Good riddance, you little twit. Just kidding. I love you…and I’ve
never said that to another man.”
Jameka: “I know one thing: your wife
is the luckiest person in the world.”
---back to live interview with Julie Chen and me---
Julie: “Well, Scott, those were some very nice words your housemates had
to share about you. In fact, in the history of the show, I don’t know
we’ve ever had as wonderful a person as you participate. Your
wife truly
must be the luckiest person in the world.”
I don’t want to try to come up with my exact quote for a response; that would just look cheesy.
The truth is that my wife is NOT lucky. I’m not saying that out of some kind of false-humility like she’s stuck with some pathetic lump of a hubby; I really AM a terrific guy, just ask my mom.

But Cindy ending up with me--in all my awesome terrific-ness--was not a matter of luck at all any more than Michelangelo was lucky to have carved that handsome statue of David.

It was skill, wisdom, and lots and lots and lots of hard work.

I am who I am today because of the last 13+ years that my wife has worked on me. She has challenged me, stretched me and helped me grow up. And anyone who knows me would agree that this could not have been an easy task for her; nor is it complete. I am, by nature, selfish, lazy and immature. But with my wife’s patient love and help, I’m able to be selfless, hardworking and mature…for minutes at a time.

She’s got a tough road ahead of her still, but it’s OUR road, and this journey is as much fun as the destination.

So to all those housemates missing me on Big Brother, don’t be jealous of my wife. No siree. I’m the lucky one.


Halfmoon Girl said...

Ilove the term bloggers in law- hadn't heard that before. You seem to have a great sense of humor, just like your wife- who insists she isn't funny... Welcome to blogger land!

G.L.H. said...

Great job! Cindy is a lucky girl, to have a guy that is willing for her to work over, er, ON.


blue thistle books said...

Hilarious and touching all in the same post!

I fairly certain your both lucky! A match no doubt made in heaven.


javamamma said...

Sniff, sniff. How touching.

And, granted the blue-haired guy I have to look at every time I read your blog - YOU, indeed are the lucky one. :)

Family O'Foxes said...

hi...i just discovered your blog so this is late...but I think Jen would say..."I'm so glad you got to meet me and my wonderful self and hopefully you walk away a better person because of my awesome presence in this house." hee hee!

The Dick response is funny! Are you glad him and Dani in the final?

Family O'Foxes said...

two things I forgot...Congrats on your long marriage and that is God centered!:)

And Kail from BB8 is from Oregon...very close to where I live. I have never met her but I found out that one my church friends went to school with her and was in her wedding. (small world)