"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"


Thursday, November 8, 2007

A Corn Dog When It's Night

My eighth-grade girlfriend and I had “our song.” We were so young, foolish and clouded by our “like” for each other that there was no possible way we could have picked the perfect song to represent our feelings. And so a song was assigned to us by our friends.

I learned it word for word. Now please understand, by “word for word” I don’t necessarily mean the EXACT words intended by the musicians. We’ve all done this; when we don’t know the precise words, we simply create some that make sense in context. That’s much better than having to drop out of the song in the middle of screaming it at the top of your lungs in a 1982 light blue Chevy Malibu, right?

Our song was made popular by REO Speedwagon.

Perhaps “I Can’t Fight This Feeling” was your song as well.

And perhaps when you sang the line “You’re a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter’s night,” you also thought it was really “you’re a candle in the window and a corndog when it’s night.”

Seriously, this is how I sang it. And even though I’m a funny person, I swear I didn’t just make up those words because it was funny. I THOUGHT THOSE WERE THE WORDS. Please, download it on iTunes and listen. You’ll agree; it truly sounds like “corndog.” 100%

I never questioned this, because in my 8th-grade understanding of romance, eating corndogs by candlelight for a late-night snack would ROCK.

As far as other songs with interchangeable lyrics, “Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds” is already whacked enough with all its marmalade skies and rocking horse people eating marshmallow pies and such, so why do people giggle when “the girl with colitis goes by”? Come on!

Please, please, please, if anyone else out there has heard these songs like I have, I need some confirmation.

Or if you have equally insane translations from other songs, I’m sure we’d all love to hear them too. (Except for that awful mistranslation from “Blinded By The Light.” We can all do without that one.)

Sincerely,

“Secret Asian Man”

12 comments:

javamamma said...

Now, I think your wife is very funny but she claims YOU'RE the funny one. And today I can understand that.

My hubby and I have these conversations. I so wish he liked to type and would blog. HE is the funny one of our pair.

Gayle said...

Oh My Gosh Scott! I thought it was "a corndog when it's RIGHT!" Thanks for setting me straight!

Tracie Loux said...

OK! We all listened and YES, it does sound just like "CORNDOG" totally!!!

My husband's shares this mis-quoted lyrics:

Jimmi Hendrick's "excuse me while I kiss this guy" (PURPLE HAZE)

Cindy said...

Secret Asian Guy. That's my favorite.

ConservaChick said...

I was going to quote the same Jimi Hendrix lyric as tracie. I mean really, what are we all thinking? Like Jimi is batting for the other team or something? Common' we all know better.
"Marmalade skies and rocking horse people eating marshmallow pies" made so much more sense when I was 16....

Tessa said...

Simon and Garfunckel's "You Can Call Me Al": You can call me daddy, and daddy when you call me you can call me out!

kari said...

I don't have any funny translations for you, but just had to say, the corndog bit is hilarious. I'll never hear that song the same again;o)

Phil said...

You make me chortle and guffaw. Thanks for the side-splitting intermission to my day.

Annette said...

Remember the song "Raise a Little Hell"? No, of course you don't, you pk, you! And if you do...well...I'll just call your parents! Anyway, my best friend was just positive the words were actually "Praise the Little Owl"! Imagine, we were worshiping idols with that song!

Heather said...

How 'bout this - "Pour some sugar on me, when the needles numb." Oh there are just too, too many. My hubby's much better at this than I am!

Mr. E said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. E said...

Remember the song "Carry a Laser!" I can't spell the actual name of the song. But it sounds like "carry a laser". I also rember singing, "looking for my lost snicker and salt" to Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville. It's funny what our minds will fill in when we have gaps in our understanding of the lyrics.