"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

What NOT To Say

Evidently, some people thought yesterdays's post was about feminine hygiene projects, even though it was clearly more about time travel. Who would even confuse the two?

Granted, there was a brief mention and a subcontext and it was in the title and what-not, so I apologize to anyone who was affected by yesterday's post. Send me a receipt, and I will gladly refund you the cost of the bleach you had to buy to cleanse your brain from that filth.

So as to avoid the need for any further cerebral sanitizing, I am starting to compile two separate lists:
A) Things to blog about
B) Things NOT to blog about

I've started it. Please feel free to help out with other ideas.

o.k.: Things that embarrass ME

NOT o.k.: Things that embarrass CINDY

I came up with this list on my own, so you see, I DO have some sense in this bald (shaved) little head.

I will also do my best to refrain from blogging about bodily functions and/or secretions. For THAT you have to head over and visit Gayle, but not while eating.

Anything else I need to avoid?


MInTheGap said...

Man, my wife just tells me I sound greedy for talking about the kinds of things that I might want for Christmas. I don't think I'd get anywhere close to hygiene products!

javamamma said...

I'd say just filter everything through your wife. That would keep you safe.

Gayle said...

We are so in sync, Scott! Who knew that we would both do a post with hygeine products involved. We must be on some higher intellectual plane than most. That's what I'm thinkin'.

Alaska1 said...

At all cost, keep your blogs about you and your perceptions and before you hit "publish" make sure that you re-read what you wrore and ask yourself if A) your wife would approve and B) if your kids would. If both are yes, hit the button.

I am not quite so sure about filtering everything through your wife, but you for sure have to keep her best interests in mind. That said, I bet that in a round about way, she is happy you posted this about Thanksgiving 'cause now, her Christmas will be even better.. at least it BETTER be:)

Tim said...

Although I am not known for my discernment or propriety, that doesn't stop me from having an opinion, and since you've left comments open on your blog, I'm free to blather. Here's my list of things NOT to blog about:

1) Avoid discussing what your wife eats. Although she may recount each and every morsel that she consumed ad nauseum, this does not mean she wants you to post her calorie count on the web.

2) Don't post unflattering photos of your wife. Note: ALL photos of your wife that you post are, by definition, unflattering. Flattering photos are the ones she posts and that her girlfriends approve.

3) Seek not to post details about flatulence, incontinence, concupiscence, or pretty much anything that ends in 'ence'.

4) Eschew embarrassing stories about your children, for they will surely retaliate, probably co-opting your wife's blog to do so. A man with thinning hair and a love for processed cheese can't be too careful.

5) On a more serious note, be careful about posting future travel plans, or specifics with regard to your locale. One unsuspecting blog-mommy of our acquaintance posted about plans to go to the park, and was a bit spooked to be met there by a reader-stalker (fortunately not ill-intentioned). We generally don't talk about where, exactly, we live, and we never reveal travel plans, lest we return to find our home looted (or pranked).

Anonymous said...

I laughed.

You could introduce Cindy to the Diva cup or the Keeper. That way you never have to worry about running out.

Or like me (who uses cloth) making sure that laundry is kept up with.