"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Friday, December 7, 2007

Clam Chowder to Die For

This clam chowder really is worth selling your children for or giving up a limb in order to even lick a spoon that once held a small amount of it.

We had friends over last week, and when we were working on the menu, I asked them, "Do you like clam chowder?" The response was kind, since our friends are very polite and accommodating, but between the lines I heard, "I will eat your chowder because my parents raised me right, but if you have anything else that's less disgusting and vile and putrid, perhaps I might enjoy the evening with you even more."

So we also made a cheesy potato soup.

And what did our friend go back and gets seconds of? THE CLAM CHOWDER! No, I'm not lying. Not my style.

So here it is for you to win over your non-chowder-slurping friends as well.

I will be writing it in Man Recipe Format (MRF), and I'm doing it from memory because it's eeeeeeeeeeeasy.
Dump all of the following in a big pot and heat it on the stove:

* 3 Cans of Cream of Potato Soup (condensed, of course. Some fancy stores might actually sell ready to eat soup, but you want the good ol'fashioned thick stuff because You Are A Great Cook.)

* 3 Cans of New England Clam Chowder (the white kind. so help me if you use that red kind, you will lose friends and not influence people. also condensed)

* 1 Can of Cream of Celery Soup (you got it, condensed. I don't know that there's actually any celery in this soup, so don't freak out if you hate celery. I have never noticed celery when I eat the chowder. Just not a fan of celery, but a huuuge fan of this chowder.)

Have you noticed so far that you're just making soup out of soup. We have not sliced a single vegetable or sauteed nothin'. Just the pleasant whirrrrr of the can opener. And yet, your guests will think you've been shelling clams and grinding whole grain chowder since the crack of dawn.

* 2 cans of Minced Clams (these are those flat cans like tuna cans). We drain the water out of one can, but include the water from the other. I don't know that it matters much at all. My mom has even made it without adding the clams. It's legal. I checked.

* 2 to 3 pints of heavy cream or whipping cream. (not WHIPPED cream, silly. And we've done both amounts, just makes it thicker or thinner.)

Just heat it up and ladle away.
Important: We sprinkle a touch of dried parsley flakes and black pepper on the top of each bowl to class it up when serving it. It does look like white vomit otherwise. Maybe that's why some people don't like clam chowder?

I hope you enjoy it as much as we do. We almost always make a meal out of that with cheese and crackers and cheese and maybe some delicious summer sausage...and cheese.

I am going to go eat some leftover chowder right now. (It gets thick in the fridge, so I'll add some milk to thin it down a tad, seeing as how soup should be eaten with a spoon, not a knife.)

more soup recipes to wet your whistle at BooMama's insanely fun little corner of the world.

1 comment:

Emily said...

WHAT? As a 'real' cook. I couldn't use the condensed stuff to make clam chowder. My snootinesss wouldn't allow me.

but...you've peaked my curiosity, as you had REAL LIFE evidence that it turned people's hearts towards it.

I'll think about it.