"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Monday, December 3, 2007

Hamster 911

When we bought our first hamster about 3 years ago, we knew the life span of these dear creatures was about 2 years. Perfect. That way, if the children grow weary of caring for this beast, we'd only have to wait 23 1/2 more months until we we're free of the burden of responsibility. (We specifically avoided the Turkey Buzzard which can live for 117 years and the Giant Tortoise living well past 150.)

Not long ago, I heard a loud banging coming from the hamster cage. As indicated in a previous post, we've moved her into an aquarium (without the water, silly). I listened carefully, assuming at first that she was tapping out a message in Morse Code.

After listening awhile, I finally decoded the message: "Help...i got mi fatt sehlf stuk in tube and i cnt get owt." After shaking my head, I went in to confront the hamster about her poor spelling.

And lo, I beheld this sight:

I didn't have the presence of mind to take a photo like my wife would have. (example of photo-readiness of Wife: "Oh, wait! Put your finger over your splurting artery for second while I get the camera so I can blog about this.")

So I drew the picture for your long-lasting enjoyment. The hamster was walking around on her back legs, banging the unattached plastic tube against the glass of the aquarium. It really was breathtaking, funny and sad all at the same time. But mostly funny.

Well, I got out the Jaws Of Life and pulled the tube apart then puffed air into the rodent to make it more full and fluffy and less cylindrical.

I'm not putting the tube back in until after a little weight loss. Maybe a miniature elyptical machine or a sauna. I'm also checking out hamster girdles online.


Emily said...

that picture is awesome!!!

Mr. E said...

Great Picture. That is to funny! When will you post your reader's review about the Golden Compass books. I may check out a used copy for myself at the library and post my own review.

Cindy said...

Did you really draw that yourself? You didn't tell me it was walking around on its hind legs. You're grounded for not getting a photo. Have I taught you NOTHING?

javamamma said...

So funny...er, I mean sad.

Ma said...

Personally, I go for Pet Ants. I mean, they're always around, have a nice-n-short life span, and when one dies, well - Brother Benny can take his place. And no one knows the difference. No cages, no pet food, no trips to the vet. The only maintenance required is that we spill some food each meal off the table. Voila!

Emily said...

you DREW that?

I'm thinking you need to moonlight Mr. Minister....as a cartoonist.

very, very good.

Tyna said...

Hamster girdles! Hahahahahahahaha!

FabTheMayor said...

We rescued a black Lab puppy whose owners were abusing him; our vet was all excited (because, you know, 3 animals going to her is not enough...let's add one more to the mix). Her response, "You are so generous to commit the next 15 years to this dog!" She could have told me that before we committed to adopting him : )

Gayle said...

This one rated a ten on the laugh-so-hard-that-a-booger-flies-out-your-nostril meter.

I'm still shaking my head that you aren't on the "best Dad blogger" list.

Whassup with that?