"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"


Monday, December 24, 2007

Notes To Self

It's Christmas Eve, and I really have no expectation that anyone is reading this. In fact, if you ARE reading this on Christmas Eve, I have pity on you and your miserable life. Certainly you have better things to do, right?

So since I expect no readers today, I'm just making my own personal holiday notes so I can check back a year from now and learn from my mistakes and successes.
----------------------
Water the tree 48 times a day. Most years (every year) I forget and skip a day or three and the tree gets mange. This year I've been obsessive about the bi-hourly feedings (slight exaggeration), and my live tree is STILL sucking up water! It's a Christmas miracle. I wouldn't be surprised if it starts growing roots and decides to live forever. However, it's already scraping the ceiling, so maybe I'll stop putting the Miracle-Gro in the water.

I must remember to buy my wife's stocking stuffers early in the season and tell her. Every year, she takes it upon herself to fill her own stocking. It's as if there was one (or two or more) Christmases where I'd gotten so wrapped up in her humongously impressive and poignant presents that I'd neglected the sock on the mantle. So now when I go to fill her stocking, there's no room because she beats me to the punch. Do all wives/moms do that?

Don't volunteer to have the whole family read scripture at the Christmas Eve service at church until after I've verified that the children actually have clothes to wear and shoes besides their Crocs. While I'm fine with holey jeans and tattered t-shirts, evidently moms like their daughters not to look like shipwrecked sailors when they're up in front of people.

While I should buy stocking stuffers early, yesterday I learned why I've always waited until the absolute last minute to buy my wife's presents. Well, yes, I AM lazy. But I'm a fickle person and thoughtful present-buyer (I guess that's just another phrase for "lazy"?), but I've just experienced the horror of seeing the PERFECT present yesterday for Cindy... after her presents have already been bought and wrapped and placed under the tree. If only I'd continued my lazy streak, I'd be able to buy the perfect present for her still. I guess I could unwrap the stupid, unsatisfactory, world's-worst-ever presents I already bought and return them and buy the perfect present, but again...there's the lazy factor.
---------------
I'm sure I'll remember all this and more in eleven or twelve months.
Not.

Merry Christmas Eve.

6 comments:

Cindy said...

Baby, if it is easier for you to NOT return the gifts you already got and wrapped, that's ok. Go ahead and get the PERFECT gift you saw and we'll just keep the others. I don't want you to have to return stuff. That's a waste of time. I care about you like that, you know.

FabTheMayor said...

OK,so Cindy isn't the only one who's reading your blog on Christmas Eve. I loved the comment about the church clothes. At my house, we've dubbed that "Salvation Army Barbie". Yes, they have clothes AND shoes in their closet to be "Dressed To The Nines Barbie", but rather choose the tattered, rattled clothes that make them look like their parents don't care. Not a battle I choose to fight. I figure in the life of a 10 and a 13 year old...getting them IN the church is more important than what's ON their bodies...if God doesn't understand, I'll add it to my list of things to discuss with Him when I get there.

Tech Daddy said...

My wife and I have pretty much given up buying gifts for each other now. We just give each other the money so that we can each decide what to spend it on. That way, I always give her the perfect gift (impersonal though it may be).

Wait, don't read the rest of this until Christmas Day (an hour and a half EST from now)...

Merry Christmas!

Robotface Shumway (Big Doofus) said...

It's 11:00 pm here in Hoosierville and I'm reading your blog--and I don't care what people think. My kids are still up, too. How pathetic is that? They're also watching TV. Honestly, I'm ok with them staying up because they will have a hard time falling asleep. Plus, there's always the chance that they will sleep in tomorrow.

Miss Sniz and I are looking forward to our family day together as we celebrate the birth of the Saviour. Have a very Merry Christmas.

Mr. E said...

Merry Christmas to you and your family! -- ME and family!

javamamma said...

OK, it's late Christmas Day night - so maybe I'm not a terrible loser. Hope you had a great day with your ladies!