"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Friday, January 4, 2008

Vanishing Wife Trick

So my wife left me.
For three days.
She's with friends, eating, staying up late, partying.
Click here to hear her gloat.

If anyone cares to hear about MY party weekend, here's a start:
Here I am back at home, slaving away over a hot stove (or is it called an oven? I always get those two mixed up). I've got four children running around who have to be scrubbed, fed, clothed and shuttled to and from basketball, church, Bible Bowl competitions, the emergency room, school and the like.

The house is a pig sty after only 6 hours without Cindy. Pizza boxes are strewn across the kitchen, and paper plates are exactly where the kids left them after eating. I watched three extra children for friends, so we also have all the toys and games still left out as well.

Once we run out of paper plates, real plates and silverware will start stacking up in the sink.

Coats are lying on the floor by the door, sticking their little tongues out at the empty coat hooks.

The kids stayed up till 10:00. (Really 11:00, but if Cindy were to find THAT out, she'd kill me.)

We watched a movie on tv that I'd never seen or checked up on. I just threw caution to the wind and reserved the right to turn it right off if something inappropriate was said or done on the screen. Fortunately, Mr. Bean stayed within my general movie guidelines, other than some brief cross-dressing moments. But really, those were integral to the plot and done relatively tastefully.

If anyone is interested, I'll be glad to continue throughout the weekend and list the various areas of our house (and life) that experience entropy while Cindy is away. I assure you the bed will not be made until minutes before I leave to pick up Cindy at the airport.
Check back tomorrow for chapter 2: "Skipping Showers and Taking The Girls Out In Public With What Dad Lets Them Wear." It's kind of a horror story of sorts.


bloginmyeye said...

No fair using words like "entropy" just to raise your blog's reading level!

Scott said...

Thank you for noticing.
I did in fact change the reading level right after posting.

It gave me something to do.
I'm obviously not spending my time cleaning or child-rearing.

Lysa TerKeurst said...

Okay- I just posted some points scoring info on Cindy's blog. Now, tell me about your GetHostile Game situation? What is the name you are playing under? Have you figured it out yet?

ConservaChick said...

Sounds like my husband when I'm gone. Only instead of Mr. Bean it would have been something ultra manly (we do have 2 boys) Like WWF wrestling or boxing. Then he takes them fishing, and gives them a dinner of salami and pork rinds. That might be why the boys always want me to leave and my girls say PLEASE MOMMA TAKE US WITH YOU! Good luck ~K

PS. For the record, I know Gayle and Emily personally. They really are amazing Christian women! Cidy's safe with them.

javamamma said...

It's always vacation time when mommy's away. Have fun. Just make sure to hire someone to clean the house before your wife gets home. ;)

carrie said...

I love it!!!!!! That's great! My hubby does the same stuff!!! Just TRY to clean up though before she gets home...

Gayle said...

I'll have you know, Cindy's side of the condo is SO CLEAN! Neener neener!

FabTheMayor said...

Just please, please, please, for the love of all that is good, make them brush their teeth at least once a day (Dear Hubby often forgets to remind them if I'm away!) Just trying to catch your back!

shay said...

You'd win dad/husband of the year if I hadn't already awarded it to my hubby. His pony tails aren't as straight though so... He may have to give the award back lol.

I hope you post pictures of what you let them wear. that is always my fav part of leaving them, asking what they wore.

Sniz said...

I bet your kids LOVE you taking care of them!

Cindy Swanson said...

Oh, just please, please clean up the mess before Cindy comes home! I'm another Cindy who knows how depressing it is to come home to a dirty house. Even if you have to pay someone to do it. Seriously. :)

Other than that, it sounds like you're doing just fine.