"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Don't Cry For Me, American Idol!

The Lovely Cindy's not here to liveblog with me. So instead of typing on my Blackberry, I actually get to use the laptop. This will also allow me to type with all 10 fingers instead of just my thumbs.
Here we are, sitting in front of the TV watching the Idol kids singing Andrew Lloyd Weber tunes.
So you know what that means?
Yup. I'll probably be singing along dramatically at the top of my lungs. Wish you could be here for the show in our living room.

Syesha's up first and--you guessed it--she's standing up on top of a piano. I dunno, we were taught not to put a drink on a piano even if you used a coaster. I hope my piano teacher Mrs. Simmons isn't watching, because Syesha would definitely not get a coveted star in her lesson notebook this week. Unfortunately for the audience here, I don't know this song so my kids only get to listen to me scream "GET.YOUR.FEET.OFF.THAT.PIANO."

Poor Jason has never seen any of these musicals, so he's...oh, no...I can't even finish the thought because he's started singing "Memories" from "Cats." It's a bit cliche and a rather hideous song choice for a boy in dreadlocks who plays ukuleles. At least I KNOW this song, so I could sing along while crawling around the room and licking myself like a cat. I could, but you'll be happy to know I didn't.

EVEN POORER BROOKE. She started the song, and then she botched it in the second line and started over. I just sat here shaking my head non-stop through the whole song wanting to wish that no one had ever invented this show in the first place and put America through this awkwardness. I cried and cringed and tried to erase the whole event from my memory. Then I hit rewind and watched it a few more times.

If you missed tonight's show, then you missed David Archuletta getting hugs from a half dozen prepubescent girls during his interview. And you also missed him singing "Think Of Me" from "Phantom" with the reminder from Lord Andrew to Open His Eyes. He did a great job, and it didn't have the cheesy Broadway quality you'd worry you'd have to endure. It was contemporary and soulful and perfect...except for a line he mumbled because he forgot a line we think, but not in an "Oh no, start over band" kind of way like Brooke.

Carly was told by Mr. Weber NOT to sing "All I Ask of You" and instead perform "Jesus Christ, Superstar." She obeyed, bless her soul. Amazingly, this type of song would've made a huge tattoo on her upper arm totally appropriate, but she wore sleeves, for Pete's sake; she's doing a really bad job reading my mind. But an exciting performance in every sense of the word.

David Cook is taking on "Music Of The Night" from "Phantom." "I'm a gorgeous 17-year-old girl from the chorus line," says Weber to inspire him. If that doesn't draw out some raw passion and sensuality from David, I don't know what would. Evidently, Mr. Weber must be a hottie, because it worked; David had a lot of feeling dripping out of his performance.

Now that I've seen all the contestants,
1. I'm narrowing my favorites of the night down to the two Davids.
2. I'm finally releasing Brooke from that special place I'd held for her in my heart.
3. And I'm wondering if anyone else thinks that Andrew Lloyd Weber looks a lot like Mike Myers (austin powers, wayne's world, etc). Check out Tamara's photo comparison for definitive proof. Better yet, let's all agree that it IS Mike Myers on AI, because I have it on good authority that A.L.W. looks like a gorgeous 17-year-old chorus line girl.
4. Finally, I'm heading over to Boomama's to see how many people are smart enough to agree with me.
5. Update: Cindy's back and has now published her American Idol Senior Superlatives.


Jenny said...

oh my goodness... I think you may be right about the Mike Myers comparison! I'll also agree with you on the two David's being on top.

Linda said...

OHMGOSH OHMYGOSH--I JUST said he looks like Mike Meyers!!! Where is Cindy?! I'm running up to her right now in my mind saying, "OHMYGOSH! Mike Meyers!"

Patrick and Martha Jane said...

Mike Myers for sure...in a weird sort of way...The comments were great for sure...David's were great tonight and Brooke and Jason are in trouble!

crittyjoy said...

I kept wondering why Andrew Lloyd Webber looked so familiar...but you are so right...and I will never look at him the same way again.


Suzie said...

Mike Myers in his Austin Powers hair...you nailed it!

Pajama Mama said...

Yep, Mike Myers! That is SO funny!!!

Your reviews are hilarious!

We totally agree on your bottom two and top two. I'll be sad to see Brooke or Jason go, but it's time. I think Brooke is ready, though.


Amy Bennett said...

Mike Myers..good one. I knew he looked like someone.

Steph said...

I have been trying to place him all night, and you did it for me! I thank you! I bow to you!


And sadly no, I can not be Jason's PR person...but I would help interview people for the position! Are you in line? LOL

ybtolerant said...

Ok you are hysterical
I completely agree with your reviews, just as my family does
the mike meyers thing- way to go reading America's mind and yah

you nailed it - found you through boo-mama, got my link up there too - it's Amber -The Bubble link


Jodie said...

Yeah, he definitely looks like Mike Meyers - with the carpet on his eyebrows instead of his chest. Well, maybe it's on his chest too. I just didn't see it.
Also - this is my first time here, and you my new friend, are hilarious!
I gotta tell you, sometimes the "AI in review" posts are um, not interesting. But not tonight! Yours delivered! :)

Huse Blog is it Anyway? said...

I'm stuck on the fact that you typically do your AI posts on a blackberry.

Jen said...

I agree with you about Brooke, but I'm hoping that Jason gets by this week on his charm. He has impresed me a lot the last couple of weeks so I hope he doesn't go just yet. I enjoyed reading your recap.

javamamma said...

I did get to watch Idol this week and appreciate your comments. Lucky you with the laptop instead of your Blackberry.

Amy said...

I am glad Syesha stuck around for this week because she was awesome. Jason - GO HOME. And take your ukulele with you. I agree about the special place for Brooke - no longer there. Go Davids! I was sad when there was no Cindy recap, but yours is just as good! (Don't tell her I said so :)

Thanks for reading my blog BTW - glad you liked it!

DidiLyn said...

Loved this review. I am releasing both Jason and Brooke. It must be done. Carly was right up there with the Davids in my book. It was fun watching her have fun.

JenB said...

My word, you crack me up. I was totally thinking the whole time Syesha was singing, "Now that is a NICE piano, girl, get off of it!" Apparently none of them are on board with the mind-reading lately! Too bad for them.

Kritter Krit said...

You are a HOOT!

And you're totally right - he's Mike Myers. It has been driving me nuts trying to figure out who he reminded me of. Thank you!!

I agreed with everything else you said too. I came across your blog via Boo Mama, and I'm a fan! Maybe even a groupie!!

Tamara said...

I'm SO with you on the Mike Myers thing...I even did a side by side comparison on my post!