"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Fashion-less Giveaway

I don't profess to have an eye for fashion. In fact, just the opposite.
Occasionally, people may compliment me on the snazziness of what I'm wearing, and I feel a moral obligation on those rare good-clothes days to assure them that either:
a) My wife dressed me,
b) The clothes were hand-me-downs from a cool friend.

Usually, it's a combination; my wife dressed me in clothes from a cool friend.

If you know anything about the public court of fashion and style, then you probably know that it is nothing if not fickle. Today's bell-bottoms will be out of style tomorrow, but back in style the following Thursday at 4:17 p.m.

Yesterday, I started to walk out of the bedroom wearing THIS:

I know what you're thinking. Did you get dressed in pitch black? Was your wife out of town? Do you hate everyone with eyes that would have to SEE this monstrosity? No. No. And no.
It's just a case of me being stupid and thoughtless. You can all thank my wife for stopping me and redressing me in something less offensive to the senses.

Officially, this was a hand-me-down from a stylish friend.
Back in 1994-ish.

Personally, I've always liked the shirt...because it never needs ironing. I've discovered that clothes with loud, busy patterns hide a multitude of wrinkles. I really like that. Unfortunately, pants with wild patterns are currently frowned on and possibly could still be frowned upon on the aforementioned Thursday at 4:17 p.m...or not. I don't really know these things.

Therefore, it is my wife's extreme pleasure for me to offer this formerly delightful piece of apparel to one lucky winner!
Here's a close-up of the print. Yes, this is a man's shirt...I think?
It's a Large, but it's more of a wide-large than a tall-large.

So leave me a comment between now and next Wednesday (4/30).

The winner (or more accurately the "loser) will be the commenter LEAST revolted by it, so write about how angry the shirt makes you or the number of friends you would lose or any number of other ways your life would surely be ruined if you ever were forced to wear such a thing. Otherwise, you might get stuck with it.

I'll announce the winner/loser next Thursday at 4:17 p.m. at the precise moment the shirt comes back in style...or not.


The contest has been closed early and the winner has been announced here. Congratulations to everyone who lost.


Jenny said...

That shirt makes me want to poke a thousand pins into my eyeballs. You definitely need to get rid of that! But, please, don't give it to me. It's simply too horrid!

Emily said...

Write about how angry this shirt makes me?

Makes me want to sleep. A.Lot. So I don't have to wake up and wear it.

javamamma said...

No comment.

FabTheMayor said...

DO NOT SEND ME THE SHIRT!! But it is quite funny that I read your post today. A girl at my school had a closet cleaning and we were the beneficiaries. I wore one of the shirts today with a pair of khaki pants. I can't tell you how many comments I got on how nice I looked and how they liked my "new" clothes. It was only then that I started calculating how long it had been since I went shopping... Dave Ramsey would be proud!

Heidi said...

I don't know that I would advise you to wear it in public! I don't think it makes me angry...it makes me think of a pillow for a couch!! Maybe you and your family could make one or a couple of pillows out of it and give them to grandparents as a "special" gift!! They don't have to be your grandparents necessarily as they may leave it to you in a will or something, so I would take it to a nursing home or pass it along that way! :) Just a thought! :) You know, "recycle"!

Christy said...

Somebody actually bought that shirt?

Tammy said...

Ummmm, Prince just called and wants his shirt back at Paisley Park STAT.

And no anger here, just thankin' the good Lord that it's your shirt and not my husbands!

Kari said...

Your shirt is almost as good as the print on a pair "muscle pants" that I remember my husband wearing back in the late 80's. (shudder) I'm so inspired now that I just may put a photo on my blog for the hideous factor.

BTW, I'm tagging you for 7 random things about yourself (other than the shirt) and you get to tag 7 people in return.

Big Doofus said...

I used to own a LOT of paisley stuff when it was popular--TWENTY YEARS AGO!!!! I still have a few paisley pattern ties that I'm hoping will make a comeback someday. But since I rarely wear ties anymore, I suppose I should just use the fabric to make scarf to go with your shirt--which I will proudly wear for at least one photo before dropping it off to Goodwill.