"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"


Monday, April 7, 2008

One Scoop Or Two

The girls feel that because they have been responsible with hamsters for the last several years, they should be rewarded with an automatic upgrade to a dog.

Heretofore, we'd been able to squash these dreams by blaming it on Mommy's and Daddy's allergies.
US: "Oh, we wish we could get a dog too (lie), but if any dogs moved in, we might die from acute allergic reactions (another lie)."

THEM: "Tell us about that life insurance."

Unfortunately, OUR dreams have been squashed because these girls have a number of friends sharing testimonials about their fancy schmancy hypo-allergenic dogs that you could literally rub against your corneas or the interior of your nostrils with little to no effect. So now we're forced either to come up with some new and unwavering religious objection to dog ownership based on an obscure scripture OR give in and buy a doggone dog.

Unless we could find a way to make then NOT want a dog. Like this:

Brynne was invited to a friend's house this weekend, and I made a deal with the parents. In order to give Brynne a taste of the brutal realities of dog ownership, I suggested that they ask her to help with some serious doo-doo removal from the back yard. I was only half-way joking.

When I went later to pick her up, sure enough, our friends had accepted the challenge, and Brynne was out there scooping poop with a little shovel. She looked up with the hugest smile and said, "This is FUN!!!"

The sad thing is that she wasn't just trying to trick me. She was genuinely having fun. The kind of fun that was next to impossible to pull her away from. I truly believe that she would have scooped for another 5 hours if I'd let her.

Back to the drawing board.

10 comments:

JustAnotherBlogger said...

The problem is that the "this is fun" attitude is very short-lived (in our case 3 days). I tried to make that a stipulation for getting a dog, but now I'm still the one doing most of the "harvesting"...sigh...I guess that's what happens when you're the dad.

javamamma said...

It's fun changing diapers too....for the first 2 weeks.

AMANDA said...

My six year old thought it was fun until the puppy got older and bigger and smellier. Now it is torture for her and her 10 year old brother. Actually for you that might be a pro instead of a con. :)

ET said...

Okay, the post was funny (always is, Scott), but javamamma's comment just had me literally laughing out loud. Right here, at my computer, at 7am. My kids think I'm going cuckoo. LOL!

Life In Progress said...

Talk about backfiring.......

But, really you know it wouldn't always be fun for her. And if it is, well, she could probably earn some cash around the neighborhood scooping after all the dogs!

Stretch Mark Mama said...

We're sticking to ants. Always a ready supply, and self-maintaining. They usually hide out under the dining room table.

Tammy said...

Send her to my house and I bet our sweet little cutie pie, Maggie, who I lovingly refer to as DOGZILLA, will cure your precious one of owning a dog.

(was that a world record run on sentence?)

Tim said...

What a great title. I was thinking Baskin Robbins, imagine my disillusionment. :)

For the record, I have to disagree with javamamma -- it was NOT fun changing diapers, even for two minutes, let alone two weeks. But I do agree with the comment by justanotherblogger -- we've held off from the purchase of a dog or cat by pointing out how short-lived the enthusiasm was for not one, but two guinea pigs.

One possibility is to sign up for dog-sitting duty with all your friends and neighbors. Offer to watch them free (or for some nominal fee) whenever they go on vacation, and you can have the best of both worlds -- your kids enjoy a pet, and at the end of the week, they go home (and you don't have to pay to feed them, or vet bills, or anything).

This is the same principle as a boat -- better to have your friend own a boat, than to own one yourself. :)

JAM said...

Cleaning up nice, discrete pieces of poopoo from the yard is quite different than cleaning diarrhea poopoo or vomit from the carpet in their room. You'll have to get these "friends" to call her when that happens next. It's a whole different ballgame trapped in a room with the smell and trying to get that out of the carpet.

Having said that, we have four poodles in the house and I love them little boogers, problems and all.

Jodie said...

I'm really having a hard time not waking up my sleeping family with my laughter. I just cup my hand over my mouth and laugh as silently as possible, but I can't keep my body from convulsing. Especially when I read words like "heretofore".

And your title? You're a sick man.