"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"


Thursday, May 15, 2008

Decisions, Decisions

It's really a difficult choice.
Once you decide you want a puppy in your home, then you have to go through all the emotional ups and downs of choosing the right breed or mix and where to get it from whether it's a shelter, a breeder or you steal it from a neighbor in the dark of night.

Like I said in the previous post, I've been online searching and hunting and stalking puppies. After much research, I've been able to narrow it down to a few possibilities. I'd love your opinions.


This little doll is a Yorkiepoo, meaning his papa is a Yorkie and his mama is a Poodle. These kinds of dogs are great for allergy sufferers in theory, because they don't shed and they exude minimal amounts of pollen and smog. There can be a large range of appearances for Yorkiepoos depending on which characteristics they receive from each parent. For example, ears can be perky and pointy more like a Yorkie and flopsy like a poodle. Likewise, their coats can be straight or wavy. They may speak either French or Italian. Who knows?


This cutie's name is Elwood. He clearly is part Chinese Crested and part satanic demon straight from the bowels of hell. This mixed breed is also good for allergy sufferers, mostly because you won't want to be near it. It does get a little pricey to feed, as it needs a steady diet of Mary Kay Extra Emolient Night Cream and Holy Water to keep its tongue from being even more dry and more evil than it already is.

This dog is chewing a bone...its owner's leg bone. The note scrawled in blood at the shelter suggests that Cujo is good with amputees. It also says that he loves children...with a hint of cilantro.


This darling is still available at the shelter as well. After 27 attempts to euthenize him, Lazarus keeps coming back. Usually they gave him a gentle shot to simply help him sleep forever. But even the last attempt with the guillotine was unsuccessful, so they're hoping to place him in a home with a nice older couple who enjoys the smell of death.

Oh, it's so hard to decide! Each of these precious puppies has its good points and bad points. I wish one of you would just pick for me.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

The first one.

40winkzzz said...

Um, the last three all scare me. As for the first little guy, he's adorable. However, the name... I don't know about your house, but at my house, reading/discussing/acquiring anything with "poo" in its name is just asking for trouble. Trouble as in having to listen to annoying, unfunny quips and comments about bodily functions several times a day for the next 14 years. And not just from the kids. (Although I'm sure *you* are a much more mature husband/father than that and will not only refuse to take part in such crass remarks yourself, but will also immediately assign clean-up duty to any offspring so speaking, thus sparing your lovely wife the obligation of being "the puritannical unfun baddie".) Just a thought, for whatever it's worth to you.

FabTheMayor said...

May I add my 2-cents' worth? I know you've been waiting with baited breath...opt for a female. I know there are already enough females in your house, but speaking from experience, males tend to mark their territory and my females could care less. And heaven forbid you get two males (don't even ask...) but they re-mark over each other's territory. Females are always the better option.

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

If you have any hope of winning me over to having a dog, you'll post something else FAST and get those nasty dog pictures OFF YOUR BLOG. I am going to have nightmares now.

rthling said...

Scott, Just informationally, Having a male dog doesn't have to be a problem. If you get him neutered before he reaches adulthood, he will never "mark." But I still think you should read what I've written about Zaccheus on my Circus blog. He has a home now, but his brother would love to live with you. He is a purebred Yorkie. Skip the poo part and go York. But I may be biased. I now have THREE Yorkies.

Emily said...

dog number 1.

Chris said...

You know, frogs are nice. And turtles. And iguanas. Nice, cuddly iguanas. That's what you're daughters are really crying out for. You just keep mistaking their cries of "IGUAAAANAAA" for "cute puuuuuupppppppyyyyyy". It's easy to do.

Be strong. Go get a newt or something.

Chris said...

Oh, and listen to your wife. Get those ugly mugs off the top post soonest. Find some pictures of those Anne Geddes babies (flowers, lettuces, cute puppies) to offset the dog from KISS, the dog from Hades, etc.

That is, if you really don't want to sleep on the sofa tonight.

(trust me on this one!)

Tammy said...

Ummm, lemme think about this one...
(jeopardy music playing). Ok, after much consternation and earnest prayer I am going to have to go with (drum roll, please) Door, er, Dog #1.

It just seems like the right thing to do. And cute goes a long way, right Cindy??

Amy Beth @ Ministry So Fabulous! said...

I like the last one. He looks like a puppy only a mother (i.e. CINDY!) could love. How perfect!

Anonymous said...

Mmhm.. well.. tough choice but I have to say number 1. There's just something about him... this special aura... the kind that clearly says: "I HAVE NEVER MET SATAN NOR AM I POSSESSED BY HIM."
I dunno; just my opinion.
-Lucienne

Kari said...

Scott, I can always count on coming to your blog and experiencing great entertainment, but nothing could have prepared me for today's post. Oh man I was laughing so hard, I was crying. Seriously. Just ask my hubby and Thing 1, who I woke up after midnight with my hysterical laughter that called for several tissues located in the bathroom-right next to her room. Hilarious!!!

Good luck with the search. My niece has severe allergies too, and they settled on a lizard.

Stretch Mark Mama said...

You know? For a minute there, before I saw the second picture, I thought we were really going to get to choose! Well, it was a good noisy laugh, anyway. I personally LIKE the ugly dogs. They seem friendlier than the 18 gazillion ants that greet me at the dining room table each day.

THEhooahwife said...

LOL Oh, that was funny!

I know where you got those pictures!! At the world's ugliest Dog Show! Seriously! I remember all three (who could forget) from a TV show about it!

Elwood won this past year. Actually, he was pretty sweet on the show!

But um, I like the first (duh). I couldn't help it, a high squeaky "Awwwwww!!!!" slipped from me before I could stop it!

bauer zoo said...

hello! i am delurking to give you my honest opinion. in my life, i have had lots of dogs...many types of dogs.

my opinion is...no dog.

get a pig. seriously. we did. i am NEVER going back to dogs. pigs don't run away. they may run, but they don't get very far, and then they take a nap. they are just as friendly, the food costs about the same and did i mention they don't run away? they may get a bit bigger (say 250 pounds) but just think, when they start to get on your nerves...or the couch...you can EAT them.

just think about it...

bauer zoo said...

oh, yeah, i forgot the best part... they don't seem to bother people's allergies. i watch a boy with pretty severe allergies and it doesn't bother him...even when she is in the house.

Kritter Krit said...

Oh, dear Lord in heaven!! I about chunked up my Egg Mcmuffin.

The obvious answer is dog Number One. ...Of course, like the anti-Christ, he could be pure evil, disguised as goodness and life.

Marie said...

Last spring I bought a Bichon/poodle mix (maximum wgt 10 lbs) and all his paraphenalia (stuff) lol. He looked a lot like your first picture but was black and white. His cage said hypo-allergenic. He was easy to train to sleep - I bought a pet carrier and he slept in there every night and for his naps when I went to work. The potty training was harder, but we made it.
And what good company he was - playful, gave me kisses, ate well and never a stray hair did I find. Easy to train to do the kissing, eating, pooping thing. But alas, despite their claims, he was NOT hypo-allergenic. After 2 months of scratching, sneezing and looking at my red face - I had to give him up. Yup, I was allergic to him!
Now, these allergies have cropped up as I grew older because we always had a cat or a dog or both. Now I can have neither.
So I wanted to warn you that even though he doesn't shed or what have you - the allergies might flare up for whomever in your family has them.
And it might break their heart! I hated having to give him up and I'm 55 years old.
Just thought I'd share because it's so easy to love those little guys.

Hugs,
Marie

Kritter Krit said...

Does Elwood have three eyes??

I can't figure out what's what on him.

DidiLyn said...

Good luck with this. :-)

Mr. E said...

Hahahahahahahahaha....I love the ugly dog photos. Please tell me you picked the first one though.

Big Doofus said...

Two words:

Chia Pet.

Jennifer Raack said...

Oh my!! You need to put a soft drink warning at the beginning of a post like that! At the first site of dog #2, I laughed out loud..through my nose because I had a drink of diet dp in my mouth...yeh, you guessed it, RIGHT UP THE NOSE!! That doesn't feel so good....kind of made my face contort like dog #2's!!!

All the Arnold's said...

If you EVER expect your sweet neighbors to help with this critter whilst you're vacationing, I suggest you stick with precious pooch and not hounds from hell.

MyBestInvest said...

Hilarious.

I'd go with one of the ugly ones. (let me know if you need further clarification as to which ones the ugly ones are)

Their looks will keep them humble, so they'll be less likely to act up.

Of course, if you opt for a more "traditional" looking dog, a buddy of mine just went through a lengthy puppy search and finally settled on a labradoodle. He's very happy with it.

Good luck!

Tiffany said...

Thanks for a much needed laugh today, Scott!
We've had a bazillion dogs over the years (okay maybe just 4) and we've had to give them up for various reasons (moving and allergies and the one that kept running through the invisible fence to go terrify the neighbor's cat.) We found then good homes, though. Ross is currently working on 100 push-ups to earn a collie (outside dog, and hopefully smart enough to stay in the invisible fence) This is his deal with David. Of course, David figured this goal was unattainable, yet Ross is currently at 60 push ups and still working feverishly... Looks like we're gonna end up with dog #5 sooner rather than later.

Anyway, concerning your allergies. I'm in agreement with a previous commenter. One can be allergic to the hair, the dander, the saliva, or all of the above. I'm sure you've already thought of this, but make sure you can take the dog back to the breeder if such allergies occur. Or maybe find someone in church who has this breed and dog-sit it for a night or two to test it out. Can't wait to see what you end up with! Good luck!

Gayle said...

Dear Lord in Heaven....MY EYES!!!!

Anonymous said...

I stumbled onto your blog by way of Thelearningneverstops I just kept clicking and here I am. Your dog post is hilarious and I totally agree about the chinese crested thing!!!

HunaBob said...

I wondered whatever happened to Eddie after Iron Maiden stopped producing albums. I see he went a little too far into the dog breeding business, though.