"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Monday, June 2, 2008

No Cards Or Flowers Necessary

A few people have written me, expressing concern about my absence from my blog.

To calm your fears:

1. No, I've not been in prison for any crime that I did or did not commit.
2. I'm not being held hostage by a roving herd of rabid squirrels using my body as a vessel for storing their acorns.
3. I've not been in Puerto Rico campaigning for Hillary.
4. I'm not remodeling the East Wing of our palatial home.
5. I'm not on assignment for the CIA, and therefore I won't have to kill you for telling you anything I'm not supposed to reveal.
6. I've not been hiding in a cave in central Missouri writing my Manifesto.
7. I'm not hunkered down in my basement doing that Wii thing that determines your "age" by your level of fitness (however, that would be "97" if I HAD been doing that).
8. I'm not folding laundry.

So what HAVE I been doing?

1. Sneezing.
2. Writing a short booklet of devotions for members of next week's mission trip to Mexico as well as lighter reading material to hang on the walls inside the outhouses to entice people to visit them regularly.
3. Mowing...and therefore more sneezing.
4. Leveling some land to repark the camper in a place behind the house so it's less of an eyesore to the neighbors. (However, they DO still have to look at the OLD camper still sitting in the driveway waiting to be fixed up and given to friends, as well as the bikes and scooters left out each day, and the bunk bed ladder leaning against the persimmon tree and the tent set up to air out and the trays of annuals waiting for the sun to parch them further because we really have no intention of actually planting them.)
5. I've also been preparing for our church's VBX (that's VBS minus the "s" for "school" plus the "x" because it's like the coolest letter in any alphabet ever). I get to dress up like Indiana Jones and make cool things like a wall with a fireplace that spins around to access a secret passageway. I guess it's hard to describe, but suffice it to say that I'm having a ball. PLUS Cindy is helping lead the singing/dancing which a delight for all.
6. Growing a beard, which collects pollen and, yes, more sneezing. (Granted, growing a beard doesn't actually take any time out of my day. I just mention it because it makes me feel manly.)
7. Decoupaging a gift for a teacher. (Not manly. Maybe that's why I had to grow the beard.)
8. Oh, and watching all the season finales of our favorite shows. Unfortunately, I have yet to see the finale for Battlestar Galactica, so all of you avid fans (Emily) don't go spoiling it for me. I'm guessing that President Roslin is married to Bob Newhart and the whole thing is a dream, but I'm probably slightly wrong.

Really, it's been a crazy week or two. Lots of deadlines with work and home life in order to be able to get to Mexico next week. Add to that the fun of unexpected car repairs after seeing a monstrous car part axle-looking thingie hanging down below my car screaming at me "spend more money on me." AND an air-conditioner in our home that WON'T STOP RUNNING even though we've turned it off because it's 68 degrees in here and there is literally ice forming on the pipes (I don't know the physics of how that's possible, but it's true sadly enough). Evidently, that's a problem and it costs money to fix it. AND it costs money to pay the electric bill for who knows how longs it's been running non-stop before we realized it.

For those waiting to hear about our puppy quest, keep waiting. Allergies are holding us up further as we rule out breeds that cause our faces to swell up like casaba melons and sneeze like hyenas.

So, just be glad I've not been blogging, because I'd have given you some attitude and shown my ugly side.


Tammy said...

Phew, I was beginning to worry you had become the victim of four lovely little ladies and a roll of duct tape.

Good luck with the VBX (awesome) and growing the beard. I'm afraid I could grow a beard before my poor husband could....ahem, not really but it sounded funny!

Jennifer Raack said...

VBX!!!! I teach this to the fifth graders every year at my church. Unfortunately, I don't have the cool fire place, secret passage way thing. Maybe you could come to TX and build one for us, you know, since you'll already know how to do it and everything...lol!

javamamma said...

My favorite things you've been doing are a/Decoupaging and b/ growing a beard.

Two things I have yet to do in life.

FabTheMayor said...

Wow! Glad you're back because I haven't laughed nearly as much since you've been gone!

MLW said...

You forgot to mention that you are spending LOTS of time getting ready to come see us! :-)

Kritter Krit said...

I'm with you on the "tray of annuals sitting out in the sun getting more and more parched because we don't intend ever to plant them."


Got my own tray. Forgot what the little bugars are called, but they really would've faniced up the beds nicely. They used to be perky and pink and cute. Now they're crunchy.

Da-da-duuuuum. My black thumb strikes again.

Emily said...

I didn't love the BSG episode. It was a cliffhanger. BAH! surprised, huh?

and did you really decoupage? really, really?

mrshoppes said...

Hey, fellow Hoosier! Post so we know you haven't drown from the flooding or been blown away by the tornadoes!