"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Preemptive Strike

Over at my wife's blog yesterday, she posted some insanely cute photos of our angelic pup, Cheddar. She didn't write any words other than the title "He Looks Sweet and Innocent, Doesn't He?"

With a teaser like that, she's pretty much implying that perhaps he's not as sweet and innocent as he looks. Pay no attention to her. She'll probably follow up tomorrow with outlandish descriptions of mayhem and horror, trying to gain sympathy from her readers.

Don't believe her if she tries to convince you that cuddly Cheddar is capable of gnawing on sofas and clawing the newly refinished coffee table.

She may make it sound like Cheddar ripped the arm off of our youngest daughter, but really there was very little actual blood at all.

And the whole "mistaking our carpet for his personal latrine" is a slight exaggeration.

As a point of comparison, let's remind ourselves that our own precious human babies

* threw up a huge puddle on my lap on an airplane, which smelled just like Strawberry Quik mixed with baby formula...because it was

* spilled paint on the carpet
* woke us up in the middle of the night, every night, for months
* said "NO!" to our faces, quite willfully
* decorated the sink with fingernail polish
* cried over silly things like hunger, dirty diapers and ear infections

But you don't ever read of her wishing to drop our children off at the animal shelter, do you?

Really, Cheddar is doing great for a puppy his age. He actually does sleep through the night, going down about 10:00 p.m. and getting up about 7:00 a.m. and that's huge to me. Plus, a good 85% of his bodily functions take place out of doors (Cindy can't even say that about herself). He doesn't bark much at all; I expected him to be a yapper, but he's really more of squeaker and only gets loud on rare occasions, much less frequently than the kids fer shur.

So if you ever read of anything negative about Sacred Most Holy Cheddar at her blog, it's most likely propoganda designed to promote the "Let's Buy New Carpet and Furniture" Campaign, so don't get too worked up just yet.


javamamma said...

I am so not a pet person. Cute as Cheddar is, I would join that new furniture and carpet campaign. And the drop lil' pup off at the animal shelter campaign too.

Anonymous said...

1, 2, 3, 4 I declare a blog war!! Hahahhahaha! Good luck with the pup. :) Cheri A

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

Oh, oh, oh..(wringing hands)...this goes against the Code, but....(spoken in hushed tones and quickly before running off...):
I'm on your side with this one, brother! C-ya!

Kimmie said...

85% of the time for a puppy ...thats pretty good stats....now for Cindy, you better seek out some therapy for her.

Animals, such joy, such work, so much like children. sigh.

mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted

Halfmoon Girl said...

I'm loving this conflict over cute little Cheddar.

fromthenarrows said...

If he aint just the cutest stinking puppy I have ever seen. Give him lots of appropriate things to chew on. Puppies chew because they have to (teeth and helps to release important hormones that calm them down actually).Bully Sticks are perfect (healthy and not dangerous like raw hide). Bully stick are beef tendon and i did hear there was a world wide shortage on them so they may be hard to find. He will chew what ever he finds, so make sure he has plenty that he can chew on. Also, if you crate, don't let him stay in it too long. It can make a dog go insane. I know one. Remember that the dog is always training, either good or bad. If you allow something once, he is training to do that very thing, even if you don't really want him to. Yes, I am the novice dog expert, only because i read like crazy and our dog is just a year old. Been there, done that. I would have told your wifey, but frankly, not sure she cares. LOL

I`m Sassy, said...

I suspected what Cindy meant posting those pics and that question. We are going through the same thing with our puppy, although ours is quite a bit bigger.

He is 6 months old now, and not to put a damper on your hopes and dreams for cheddar..........but, well, it gets alot worse before it gets better.

Thoughts of the animal shelter still creep into our thoughts......often.

Good Luck........and cute how far into denial you have slipped.

TAMI said...

You've won an AWARD! Get dressed and come on over to check it out!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on this one! He'll be great in a year...just what I say about babies!

Deb C