"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Flashback To Horror And Shame

Yesterday we were watching a little women's gymnastic floor routine action. It's very beautiful to watch the fluid motions and the incredible flips and twists.

It took me back to high school when I signed up for a semester of gymnastics as a gym elective.

Couldn't even touch my toes, but it sounded like a cool way to spend an hour each day with a lot of pretty girls. There was one other guy in the class who was thinking the same thing, but he had the advantage of being able to touch his toes...with his HEAD.

That stupid floor routine for guys is just pathetically sad when you're a guy who cannot touch his toes, flip, twist, do cartwheels or walk without tripping. I swear, all that was available from my repertoire after a whole semester was gay little prancing from corner to corner with an occasional kindergarten somersault sprinkled in here and there. It was humiliating, and I was so thankful that only one other guy had to witness it...and he was actually too busy by this time folding himself into an origami swan to pay much attention to sad prancy white boy frollicking across the floor.

Unfortunately, a mole in the class invited my youth minister on the day of the floor routine "final." I was obligated by his presence to throw in a few "manly" moves in place of the planned skip-dee-doos. I think that scratching my crotch and burping may have cost me technical points, but saved a little face.

I DID receive a 10 on the parallel bars, though. (Out of 100?)

[and he bows to the judges...then the audience...then skips gleefully off to await the final scores from the judges.]


Emily said...

tell me.
TELL ME that you have pictures.

Lysa TerKeurst said...

Oh this totally calls for a face off. Oh yeah... the next time y'all are in our neck of the woods you, me, and Cindy are totally meeting at the gym for a little
Comp- O- Tition!!!

You'd better start touching those toes brother--- with your head!

To Commenter Emily... don't stress if he can't produce pictures from back then--- we'll be taking plenty the day of our little face off! Ain't that right Cindy?!!!

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

I still remember Robin talking about how he came to watch you. Hee hee hee.

I couldn't be prouder. (Or more proud?)

Lysa, I'll take you both on. Because my new Jazzercise moves are KILLER.

Scott said...

Come back tomorrow for pictures.

HootieMama said...

I could probably swing y'all a discount at Bloomington's finest medical facility!! ;-)


Stacy said...

HA! Hilarious.

The "gay little prancing" line is where I began laughing out loud, all the way through the "sad prancy white boy frollicking" part.

Can't wait to see the pictures.

Or... wait. Do I really WANT to see the pictures?!?!?


rthling said...

Ah, yes, bound and leap, like a gazelle set free.
Bound and leap. (Milo & Otis)

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Skipping away was the perfect way to end it all. BTW, try being a HS cheerleader who can't do any gymnastics. Oh the shame.

~Rhen @yestheyareallmine said...

I cringe every time I watch my 7 year old gymnast touch her head to her butt. Seriously!