"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Dog Gone It

O.K. it's a stupid title.
It's 4:00 p.m. on Sunday, and I should still be napping. So in my sleepy state, I'm just not able to summon the energy to move the mouse and click back up on to the title to change it to something more appropriate to the subject matter. But if I DID have the energy and motivation, I'd probably call it:

"The Day We Came Home From Being Gone For 6 Hours And Found The Puppy Loose In The House Because I Forgot To Lock The Back Door On His Crate"

Can you imagine the horror when we opened the door and were greeted by the pup? While it's a very nice thing to have a dog jump up and lick you and show his excitement at your return, it's a little disconcerting when you expected him to be in his happy little (big, actually) crate. Really, he likes the thing and walks in there willingly at night and when we leave him home.

Well, we did a frantic survey of the house to assess the damage. So far, all we found was a poop pile in a bedroom. We can only assume that he'd spent the whole morning napping as usual in his crate. And then it may have taken him a long time to learn that the door was unlocked. In reality, he might not have been out of the crate for very long at all. Judging by the amount of trim still left on the upholstered chair in the living room (our preferred equivalent of carbon dating), I'd guess he was out less than an hour.

Since we have yet to have serious damage from Cheddar, I'd love to hear some of your stories of puppy destruction. It'll make us appreciate what we've missed out on (knock on wood). Your misery could bring me great joy. And isn't that really what we all want here?


Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

Once we brought a dog home from the humane society. She was the most beautiful dog you have ever laid eyes on, but she had a DEMON.

If we tried to crate her, she would poop and roll in it. So we put her in the laundry room, where she tore a hole the size of a two year old in the sheetrock.

We called her our Dateline Dog. Remember those episodes on that show? Anyway...it wasn't long before she resumed her place at the humane society.

AmyG said...

Oh lucky you! Glad it was nothing more than a pile of poop, that was left for you.

Our dog likes to get in the trash when we aren't around, so I have to make sure to put the trash out before we go anywhere. She's 2 yrs old.

But just recently, my Mom came to visit us from FL. She brought her dog with her. It's a little rat, chiuaua mixed with something. Anyway, he's a year old, I think. She told us she could leave him out at her house, so we figured we could do the same here.

Ha! No! He chewed many of the kids toys. He had a fixation with paper. And he chewed a pair of my headphones. No matter how much cleaning we did, making sure everything was up & out of reach, he STILL found something to chew.

Ultimately, we ended up pulling out our old dog crate & keeping him in there when we had to go out.

Heather said...

I don't have any terribly, horrific doggie tales, but this one should do the trick:

FabTheMayor said...

Would you like me to talk about why there is a throw rug starting at our bedroom door and going as far back as possible (from where we locked them in the bedroom when we had company one night) or the numerous times we have come home to find that we have the smartest dogs on the planet because they can open a LOCKED pantry cabinet and devour all of the contents??

FabTheMayor said...

...and what do you mean, he opened the BACK door of the crate? How many doors are in the condo?

chickadee said...

it could have been so very bad. you were lucky.
when i was teaching i got a lot of fudge from my kids for christmas. i left it on the coffee table and went to bed. the next morning the fudge was all gone and my schnauzer was moaning on the floor with a belly the size mine is right now. she lived but i was pretty disappointed.

Tammy said...

My husband's lab, for starters, could climb the baby gate he put up in his kitchen to contain her.

Here's a short list of things she chewed up:

1. his very expensive, single man, Dooney and Bourke wallet

2. leather shoes

3. alarm clock cord, which was plugged in

4. upholstery on very tacky couch from the 80's

5. unrolled a complete roll of toilet paper all over the house

See, so a minature pile of poop is n-o-t-h-i-n-g! Be thankful. ;-)

DidiLyn said...

Your post here was so thought provoking that it inspired an entire post from me. I linked you up over there. I hope you don't mind. And if you do mind, I hope you are not litigious.

amy said...

Ummmmm, from the many I'll share two. Spike the dog ate an entire roll of toilet paper and had to have it surgically removed. Bear the puppy ate my cell phone. The kicker is, it still worked, so I had a chewed up phone with a cracked screen till it was time for a contract renewal! Stupid dogs but we love them so!!!!

EEEEMommy said...

You really don't want to know. I might be able to comfort your wife with my tales of puppy woe, but YOU really don't want to know. (And neither did my husband). But since you asked....no I'll spare you, but I will share my favorite "Maggie story" from some friends' of ours Lab. Once, the UPS man delivered the printer they ordered, and put it on the open back porch where he thought it'd be safe. Unfortunately, that's where Maggie stayed while they were gone, and she ate it. The whole thing. The printer, the box, the packaging material, all but enough shreds for them to realize what had happened. It was a nightmare getting a new printer and settling the disputed charges. Our pastor's lab once ate an entire cake in one fell swoop. It was sitting on the counter. Our dog has started swiping from the counter too. You should be grateful Cheddar is short and will stay that way. Unless she can vertical leap her way to the countertop. That'd be quite a story!

Marmee said...

Our dog ate a couple of AA batteries ON MY BED!! When we discovered her happily chewing away, the kids freaked out because, hey, battery acid is deadly. They were counting down the hours until she kicked the bucket. I was more concerned with the comforter at the time. She was fine.

She's calmed down a LOT and now only occasionally eats big spiders. We know this because when she is done making her sharky rounds around the house looking for scraps of food and whatnot, she will come back with spider legs hanging on her whiskers and hair. Oh, the joys of dog ownership.

Way back before kids and before recycling got real poplular, our very first dog loved to get in the trash. We would find him nosing through the garbage. Once we caught him in the very act and he had his snout all caught up in an empty can of Campbell's Cheddar Cheese soup. From then on, we dubbed him Cheddar Cheese Head.

Mo said...

Ok, here's another worth commenting. This isn't so much a tale of house destruction, but I think it's still worth telling.

My family used to have an amzing golden retriever named Willie. One day we came home from a family vacation to find him extremely sick (a friend of the family had been stopping by a few times a day to feed him and let him out).

My parents took him to the emergency vet, where they did a scan of his belly and saw a large tumor in his intestine. Given his young age, and importance in our family, my parents decided to shell out the money for surgery.

$2000 later, the vet came out with good news. The tumor was not malignant. In fact, the tumor was not a tumor, but a roll of socks. My mother's socks. I think it took her a while to forgive him for that. (They also found half a tennis ball in there. We have no idea where the other half went).

mylittleducks5 said...

When I was in college, living at home. We had a puppy who chewed EVERYTHING. We maybe should have considered a crate. DUH! on us. Anyways the ultimate chew right...got ya back to that. He took a $50 bill off my desk and shredded it. I found pieces of my $50 all over my room.
The way I actually broke him of chewing was the silent treatment. One day he chewed my new sandals. When he would try to come by me I would show him my chewed shoe and push him away. And say no chewing or something like that. He was my dog and he LOVED me, so he was very upset. After about a day and a half. I told him I forgave him and let him come by me. He never chewed again. Of course this would have been a better habit to break before my money was destroyed.

Big Doofus said...

Six months from now you'll find a few more deposits that were left. By they they will be completely dried up and stuck to the carpet.

Mr. E said...

Our weiner dog is going through something at the moment. He has started to poop on the floor of my daughter's room and by our front door. He does this between 4 and 5 in the morning so it is nice and "ripe" when we wake up at 5:30. He has done this for 4 days straight. Not sure what has gotten into him. He hasn't done this since he was a puppy. I am having a tought time controling my anger over this, and hope he stops soon.

Mr. E said...

Our weiner dog is going through something at the moment. He has started to poop on the floor of my daughter's room and by our front door. He does this between 4 and 5 in the morning so it is nice and "ripe" when we wake up at 5:30. He has done this for 4 days straight. Not sure what has gotten into him. He hasn't done this since he was a puppy. I am having a tought time controling my anger over this, and hope he stops soon.

Aaron B. Huddleston said...

With our current dog, the worst was when we came home to find that she had destroyed our sunroom. Eaten everything she could get her teeth on in the room. There were scraps of encyclopedia strewn about the room...an entire CD from our computer desk was just gone....

With our old dog it was slightly worse. He had gotten his tail caught in a cage at the kennel and had it stitched up. We came home late at night after a New Years Eve party to see blood spattered all over the walls and furniture. At first we thought the worst and dad made us wait outside. Then we realized: all of the blood is below waist level... We checked and, sure enough, the dog had gotten a bit too excited (probably from Fireworks going off or something) and popped his stitches and then run about the house wagging his tail. It really did look like an axe murder had taken place there, though...

Aaron B. Huddleston said...

Oh yeah...and then there was the time we locked her in a bedroom and she tried to DIG her way out under it....Completely destroyed the carpet...