"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Dang! Shucks! Fooey! Schnagglefumble! Drats!

Sorry for my language.
I'm just kicking myself BIG time.

It turns out that my previous post was my 300th and I just totally let it slip by without even a hint of hoopla.
That's so not like me. Remember the fun we had for my 100th post? If I'd had the presence of mind to see THIS milestone creeping up on me, I assure you that I would've planned something bigger for you.

But as it is, I'll just have to throw something together real quick.

O.K. I just called around to see what kind of place I could rent for this shindig on such short notice. Apparently, a lot of places require a skoach more than 5 minutes notice, so I'll meet you all down at the party room in the back of Uncle Skeeter's Rib Shack/Bait Shop in just a sec.

[just a sec passes]

Welcome to the celebration. Unlike last time, I don't have time to ask some of you readers to take part in the planning and preparation. For decor, we're pretty much limited to what I could grab from around the house. So it's largely a Christmas-themed gala...and not a very classy one. We'd already had the van loaded with our rejects from Christmas past for delivery to Goodwill, but they'll just have to make the detour here at Uncle Skeeter's for a bit before ending up in resale heaven.

And yup, you guessed it. For food, we're having delicious turkey. At my mom's we had a whole second turkey that never even got carved, so we'll have plenty for tonight's extravaganza. And a little stuffing, some corn casserole, a half of a pumpkin pie, some green been casserole, and gravy. And we might have half of a bowl left of the world's best Clam Chowder. I'm sorry there was no leftover cheeseball after Thanksgiving dinner at the Newlands, but you should know there's NEVER leftover cheeseball (or cheese-anything) when I'm in town.

I feel awful that I didn't have time to commission one of you to put together a PowerPoint slide show with highlights from the past 300 posts. Or a stirring tear-jerker of a speech in my honor. So I'll just pick a few of my favorite posts and share why I picked them:

* Dying Dog, Raw Chicken Restaurant on Vacation, because I still have flashbacks every time I eat chicken...in a restaurant with a dog in the corner...seizing.
* Time-Traveling Hygiene Products, because most commenters agreed that I was "deadmeat" for mentioning hygiene products and tube socks. I haven't done it since...until now.
* This Tribute to my wife, because it has the world's best photo at the bottom, and the inclusion of the lyrics from "She's A Bad Mamma Jamma" put it in the running for a Pulitzer. It will also help her forget that I posted about hygiene products.
* That "Corndog" One, because I go back and read it every once in a while, and I absolutely giggle each time. I'm such a dork.
* The One Where I Try To Burn Out The Yellow Jackets, because near-death experiences help you appreciate the little things...like staying alive.
* This One Where I'm Not Really Making Fun of My Wife, because I just thought of it again last week when my daughter was telling about the time when the teacher at school turned on the TV to pop in a movie or something and Beth Moore (the lady preacher) happened to be on the channel briefly. Cindy's question for my 4th grader, of course: "What was Beth Moore wearing?" The blue shirt and grey/silver pants; my daughter actually noticed! Women are weird.
* American Idol Live Blogging, because I love to demonstrate to the world that I have no life by blogging live during that show each week it's on.
* This Vomit One, because being a parent is all about the vomit, doncha think?

Are there any that have touched a special spot in YOUR heart? I'd love to hear about how your life has been changed by what you have read here. I'm sure this blog is responsible for saving marriages, bringing prodigals home, ending world hunger, and making coffee squirt out noses onto computer monitors.

Seriously, though. Thanks for sharing life with me these last 300 posts. I'm having a blast writing mine and reading yours.

I couldn't have done it without you.


javamamma said...

The yellow jacket one was one of my favs. Made me laugh roar-ishly. Happy 301st!

Becky K. said...


I love how much you adore your wife and family!! It shows!

I loved reading about the baptisms in the ocean. Your Daddy heart was on display big time!

Becky K.

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

I loved your giveaway that Tim won. Those were some major prizes!

I also love any time you show me some bloglove.

kim said...

Thanks for the last 300 blogs.. although I've only been around for the last 30 or so.
I hope and pray there will be another 3000! I look forward to my daily "humor therapy" through your posts and there have definitely been a few of those "coffee through the nostrals onto the monitor" moments here.
Keep up the great writing.
I'm addicted!

Trying To Blog Mom said...

Wow, 300 posts calls for a celebration. Congratulations! I wish I could blog like you. I am simply entertained by reading blogs like yours. Thanks.

Tammy said...

Congrats, Scott on quite an blogging accomplishment!

You crack me up every time I click here. And your love for your wife, girls and Savior shine brightly also.


Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

Love your blog all around, Scott. BUT, I really love the Cheddar ones...the one with all the funny dog pictures stands out to me right now... :D