"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Would You Like A Mushroom (Cloud) With Your Order?

I'm always in search of knowledge.

I love Google. It answers all of my important questions. And since I have a Blackberry, I need not wait even a second for the answer to life's most pressing mysteries.

For example, I had an intense NEEEED to know the history of Guantanamo Bay and why in the world the U.S. has a base in Cuba of all places. Google helped me figure it all out, and then I was able to finish my lovely dinner at the fancy restaurant.

[BTW, we lease the land for a few thousand dollars a year. Cuba doesn't wish to honor the lease anymore because it was agreed to long, long ago before Fidel Castro was even a twinkle-o in his father's eye-o. (Like my use of fake Spanish?) So Cuba hasn't been cashing our lease check in forever. Wikipedia tells me the checks are sitting in Raul Castro's lower left desk drawer. Has anybody told these people that those checks are usually void after 90 days?]

Well back to my quest for knowledge.

I drove through McDonald's on my way to the local Center for Plasma Donation and Advanced Vampire Activities. There was some kind of gas tanker parked behind the restaurant. In addition to whatever the giant main tanker-tank held, there were also several portable tanks. I assume those contained the C02 for the soda fountains.

The presence of the truck and tanks was nothing unusual. But the dense smoke/steam/fog pouring out from under it made me wonder whether or not I should hightail it out of there. Also, it was hissing menacingly. In movies, that noise usually precedes explosions and death.

So do I stay in line...and die? Or do I pass up on a double cheeseburger and live?

As I preprared to Google "steam pouring from gas tanker behind McDonald's will I die," I thought I'd give my intelligent readers a chance to clue me in.

After all, I assume some of you have worked in either the fast food or death tanker industries.

Were me or my fries ever in any danger?

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