"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Switched Before Birth In a Codependent Rage After Dark By The Murderer Who Shopped Among Us

I must remind myself.

Lifetime Television is for women.

It's for chicks who like to curl up on the sofa and engage in such absorbing titles as:
"The Nanny Who Ate My Chocolate And Stole My Man"
"Adopted By My Twin"
"Sleeping With The Librarian Who Couldn't Reed"

So why can't I turn it off right now? And Cindy's not even watching it!!!!!!!!

The self-loathing is almost too much for me to bear. Is there a support group out there for me?

Updated to add:
The baby's fine.
The unfaithful daddy's shot in the back.
The detective/aunt caught the c-section kidnapper who looks like Celine Dion.
Daughter forgives mother.
Blah blah blah blah.


Emily said...

there are simply no words.


you're crazy.

in other news, we call it "lifetime television for abused and battered women...with a gun."

javamamma said...

It's kinda like those Hallmark movies. Just 10 minutes after my husband swore that "if he had to watch another one of THOSE movies, he'd...." ~ he was eating his supper in front of the TV, GLUED to the movie.

What the heck?

Tammy said...

You ain't ri-ight.

Big Doofus said...

I've had this theory about Lifetime for many, many years now (just ask my wife). I believe that there's a basic formula for all of the movies on Lifetime (and it's sister station LMN - "Lifetime Movie Network"). 90% of the movies include a "not without my baby" or "they took my baby" theme in which a woman's kids are taken away by a government authority, kidnapper, or elves.

Hallmark has a similar deal, but their basic plot involves a nice, attractive young woman who is usually widowed or divorced with some kids. She meets a guy who looks great on the outside and manages to fall for him (usually just for the security of having a provider). Of course, the guy turns out to be a selfish dweeb or even a totally evil jerkhead. All along, there is another guy in the picture who has been in love with her all along and at the end of the movie she realizes it and they get together.

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

I love the Adopted By My Twin. I'm still laughing at that. :) You're a goober.

Kritter Krit said...

I'm with Cindy.

"Adopted By My Twin" is a winner. Made me snort a tic-tac onto my keyboard.

I think you're onto something. Call Lifetime, hook up with a producer, and watch the big bucks roll in.

...Ooo. Imagine the cheese you'll be able to buy!

Magette's & Musgrove's said...

I always fondly referred to Lifetime as the "She-man-man-hater channel". Actually, it may have been my high school boyfriend that came up with that, but either way, it works!

gopmom2 said...

In the wonderful world of cheerleading...I always say it is a 'Lifetime Movie waiting to happen'. Lifetime has their little corner of the market....I have been hooked for days before!!! I feel so trashy afterward!