"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

AI Top 4--Two Words: Suh lash

Actually, it's just one word: "Slash."

As in the name of tonight's mentor, in all his curly-haired, sunglassed, nose-pierced, 80's rock glory, who coached the contestants on how to rock it for our Rock n Roll themed night.

And who better to start the night off than Adam? He sang some Led Zeppelin song, and let's face it, i just dont know rock music. (I know. You're totally caught off guard by that bit of revelation, but it's true. Rock's not my language. Therefore, I'll have a hard time judging tonight's singing. So just humor me while i fake my way through it.) Well, Adam had this rock-y vibrato thing going on that I found less than necessary. The judges, on the other hand, loved him almost to the point of marriage proposals.

Allison, was much better for me with "Crybaby"...or perhaps "Cry, Baby." It didn't involve a lot of screaming or excessive eye-liner, so that's a plus. On the down side, she admitted she went to Adam's "hair girl." This explains the random natural purple highlights. The judges weren't overly excited about her performance, but they'd raved so much over Adam's perfection, that maybe everyone else should just go home.

Next is a DUET with Kris and Danny! The best parts were their harmonizations. I could listen to that all night. Randy agreed with me.

OK.During this commercial break, I'm going to throw in stuff from an American Idol post I did last Wednesday night. A lot of you just pop over here on Tuesday nights to read my reviews, so I'm including this again for those of you who missed this later add-on, because let's face it, it's mind-blowing. Those who are here throughout the week and already read this next part can just skip ahead.
You know what I haven't done this year yet?
Go ahead guess...

O.K. I'll give you multiple choices options:
a) Waxed my eyebrow(s)
b) Pumped out the septic tank
c) Pay my speeding fine
d) Provide photographic evidence of the comparisons between your favorite Americal Idol contestants and their twins in the world.

Actually, I've done NONE of these things yet.
I have no intention of waxing my brow.
I hope my septic tank continues to hold an endless supply of our waste.
I haven't paid my speeding fine (but I suppose I'll cave eventually).
And right this very moment I will share with you, my readers, the joys of knowing that we each have our doppleganger in the world somewhere.

For Matt Giraud, his twin is Tom Hanks.
Technically, it might be his father more than his twin, but these days with freezing embryos and all, I guess it could be possible for Matt to be the father of Tom. Who knows?

This one you probably spotted from day one. Danny Gokey and Robert Downey, Jr.
Now I think I've mentioned it three or more times that Allison is Rachel Ray's little sister.

If we could only get Allison in the kitchen to whip up a shrimp pasta, hearts of romaine salad and a creme brulee in under 30 minutes, you'd finally have the proof you were waiting for.

And don't you think that Kris has a cute, boyish quality?
Kind of like this cute, boyish chimp in space?Come on. You're not really taking offense at the fact that I'm comparing your boyfriend Kris with a monkey, are you? It IS a cute monkey.
It could be worse.

At least I didn't make the following comparison for him:

I know. I was speechless, too, when I first made the connection.
Maybe you've made your own observations about look-alikes for these contestants. I could be wrong about some of my guesses.
Until I get close enough to prick some fingers for blood samples, I won't be able to be 100% certain that Adam and Liza Minelli were wombmates. Until then, though, we also won't be able to rule it out.
Thanks for indulging me. Unless you didn't, inwhich case thanks for nuthin'.

Now back to our current show with Kris singing a solo, "Come Together" which I think is a Beatles thing. It was great, but Kara D. didn't dig it. I'm not going to put a lot of stock in the opinions of a judge who shows up in public in black leather and metal studs with her hair slicked back. Simon compared it to making a meal out of ice. Maybe he meant that it was "cool."

Danny's doing "Dream On" by Aerosmith, which I'm expecting be big, real big. It involves some screaming and shouting. Literal screaming. Like horror-movie-pull-back-the-shower-curtain screaming. Randy thought it was all right. Kara thought he took it too far. Paula's a fan. And Simon copied my comment about a horror movie scream, because he wants to be just. like. me.

And finally, Allison and Adam are going to holler us up a duet, "Slow Ride." Should I be concerned that my daughter is singing along? How does she know this song? Each did better on their own than they did together on this song. But the judges were more impressed than I. Final comments from this performance come from 8-year-old Jenna: "tight pants look better on girls than boys, ew."

All four singers are great at their art, so I'll have a hard time guessing who'll go home tomorrow night.
Based on past voting, maybe Kris or Allison.

But it's up to America to vote, and my fingers are too tired from typing to dial a phone, so it's up to the rest of you.


Musings of a Housewife said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this commentary! And I agree with your daughter about the tight pants. :-)

Debbie said...

I'm with you! It's kind of hard to enjoy music if your face is tied up in knots from gritting your teeth and trying not to puncture an eardrum while cramming both index fingers down into them. I don't think blood curdling screaming is considered good music...but then that may be because I'm old!

Buncha Blue-Eyed Monkeys said...

Great recap! Love the comparisons. I enjoyed Kris' song also. Oh, and if your daughters play Guitar Hero or Rock Band, that's probably how she knows it...or maybe the Cars movie, was it on there? Hmmm.

Smoochiefrog said...

I totally agree on the tight pants. Adam really scared me with his.

pcb said...

Love the Separated at Birth feature, esp Adam and Liza. Wow.

Stretch Mark Mama said...

Hubs comment about Adam tonight: "His pants are like the Sistine Chapel........."

"there's no ballroom."

[rolling eyes]

Heather, aka Jake's Mommy said...

Hahah!! I love the pics!! And, we always compare Adam to Kris Jenner (from Keeping Up with the Kardashians).

Jenna said...

Haha I'm here from boomammas and your comparisons are hilarious!! Especially Adams. I will have to be mad at your for the whole Kris comparison because I'm a big fan of his!(even though it's sadly spot on) haha

Emily said...

Jenna is a total genius. I agree that tight pants on boys are NAS-TAY.