"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Using an Economy of Words, For the Purpose of Brevity, in the Most Concise Sense...

I finally have figured out why I'm not clicking over to here to write posts as much as my soul craves:

It's all Facebook's fault.
I am not to be blamed.

It's been so much easier to post a quick one- or two-liner on Facebook than to come here and write the most prolific and life-changing posts to which you have become accustomed.

But there's no reason I can't do both. So for today, I've decided to share some potential Facebook statuses that I have not yet written:

Scott gets the point of the title "Biggest Loser" but thinks he probably should suggest that his kids not constantly refer to all the contestants as "losers."

Scott wonders...if the monkeys at the zoo do that when people are watching, what in the world do they do after hours?!

Scott is fricasseeing some chicken. ("Fricasseeing" means picking up some KFC in the drive-thru window, right?)

Scott refuses to say "octopi" as the plural of "octopus." I speak English, not Latin. Same goes for "cactus," "status," "walrus," "Prius," "schoolbus" and "Jesus."

Scott wants to say something controversial about healthcare reform so you'll leave lots of comments.

Scott wishes people would stop laughing at his Cupid Shuffle.

Scott was hoping that the music store going out of business was going to forget we were renting one of their violins.

Scott should probably not have left his lunch containing yogurt out in the hot car all day. And he most definitely should not have eaten the yogurt.

Scott wishes to remind people that the term is "shaved head" not "bald." "Balding," perhaps. Maybe "wispy." Possibly even "hopelessly and irreversibly thin on top." Remember that bald people have feelings too... I mean "shaved headed people."

There. Doesn't it seem like you know me better now?


Billie said...

You can't abandon your blog to facebook (even though I did too). I am not your facebook friend and so where would I go for the wonderful insights you provide ;)
Thanks for the updates!

2Thinks said...

I've missed your funnies, so was happy to see the one liners and laughed at the one about the monkeys. That is so true.

My girlfriend (I know there is some cute texting type abbreviation for girlfriend, but I have no idea what it is gf?) says the same thing about blogging. I got her hooked on fb and now she doesn't blog and she got me hooked on blogging and I rarely fb anymore, though blogging takes so much more time.

Bloggers care more about other bloggers for real than facebookers seem to for each other- did that make sense. Either way, it is true and I like sincerity. Not that some facebookers don't care, but...anyway, I'm writing a post here, not a comment.


Heidi @2 Thinks to Share

Queen of Fun said...

As Anne Grahm Lotts would say:
"Just Give Me Jesui"
(Not to be confused with a Jedi)

40winkzzz said...

i am that gf, and everything 2thinks says is true. what you say is true as well: fb 1-liners are so much easier than blogposts, which are supposed to be well-written and halfway meaningful.

i have long thought about doing exactly what you have done in this post- except using both posted *and* unposted fb statuses- but i haven't gotten around to it bc i always get sucked into bejeweled blitz or something. or i start to do it but get carried away and actually blog. now when i do start posting my weekly fb-post-like snippets, 2thinks will think i am copying you. thanks a lot. :-)

Jody said...

My husband also shaves his head. A couple weeks ago, our five year old was climbing on him (as kids do)and was able to see the top of his head. She said, "Daddy, you are bald to the bone." Cracked us up!

Some Guy said...

There may be some people whose IT department at work blocks access to Facebook but does not block blogs.

You wouldn't want to abandon those people, would you? How would they make it through their lunchtimes?

Bob Hawley said...

Scott there is one deviation I think you will agree on - The plural form of Magness is Magni.