"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"


Monday, August 31, 2009

In Which I Post As If I Haven't Been Absent Forevuh...

I realized I'm not really good at writing during the summer.
(Critics might suggest I'm not really good at writing ANY time of the year.)

Well, fall is here, as are all my good intentions to write more regularly. But until I actually DO it, this is just an empty promise, so don't go making any major life-changing decisions based on this hollow commitment.

In the meantime, to answer all your questions about what I've been up to:

* I made some homemade pizza.
* I bought an actual shock collar for the dog with a button we can use to zap him whether he needs it or not.
* I watched TV.
* I took out the trash.
* I drained the pool.
* I folded some laundry.

So, clearly you can see why I've neglected the blog. WAY TOO MUCH DOING NOTHING 'ROUND THESE PARTS.

[Hold on. The dog's barking. I have to go push his button real quick.]

[Ah. There. Now's he's curled up in a ball, twitching. Good boy.]

Naw. I'm just kidding. Cheddar actually responds very nicely to the lowest setting which the instructions assure me provides just a hint of "stimulation." Enough to annoy him, but not cause any pain. While that seems to take all the fun out of having this device, I have to admit our purpose in getting it was helping train him better. So it's serving it's primary purpose.

I won't tell you what our sadistic unfulfilled secondary purpose was, but you can use your imagination.

Tomorrow starts a new month, and a new opportunity to write. Let's see if I take advantage of it. Any bets?