"The Muffled Cries For Help From a Daddy of Four Beautiful Little Girls"

Monday, March 8, 2010

CH_ _CH. What's Missing? SPELLCHECK!

I really don't like to complain.
It's not a big deal.

I should be able to overlook it.

But put yourself in MY shoes.

I drive by FOUR churches on my way to drop my daughter off at school each morning. And not just any four churches, but four churches with CHURCH SIGNS out front where they can put up messages and announcements.

You're probably thinking I'm going to mock the cutesy trite sayings that many churches put on their signs. Really, I would rather see that than what I've been subjected to for that last several weeks.

Keep in mind that I was an English major. But I'm guessing even some of you Ceramics majors may also cringe when you read the following signs.

CHURCH A: "Be an organ doner. Give God your heart." It's "DONOR," folks. But that's not too bad. I actually suspect that most people won't even notice that misspelling.

CHURCH B: "Jesus Was God's Valintine To Us." Valuntime's with mispeelings are only cyoot win ritten by chidlrun.

CHURCH C: "WENSDAY 6:30" OK. At this point in my morning when I'd already passed two churches with misspellings, I've only got so much grace left to give. And it's not enough to even come close to covering over the multitude of sins that reside in "WENSDAY."

So by the time I see CHURCH D with the word "IMBEDDED" instead of "EMBEDDED," I'm so clouded by my fury, ire and shame that it takes every ounce of strength to keep from plowing my car directly into that sign.

Actually, I exaggerate slightly. I give churches at least a two-day grace period for them to recognize the error of their ways, but some of these still have their misspelling almost a month later.

Is it tacky to call them and tell them? Or should I just take a can of red spray paint and correct them?

(NOTE: I'm sure I have multiple misspellings and grammatical errors in this post. Isn't that iconic? And for the record, "imbedded" is an acceptable alternate spelling of "embedded" but still rubs me wrong.)


{Jodie} said...

I'm with you brother! :)
As a former almost graduated English major, I think a can of red spray paint is appropriate retaliation. You gave them their grace. Now it's time for the wrath. Serious errors call for serious judgment. (I just misspelled judgment the first time I typed it.... so nevermind all that stuff I just said.)

{Jodie} said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rthling said...

Nah, don't bother. Just take pictures and post them on facebook on this site.
They have some great pictures you will be sure to appreciate.
(I even have one posted.)

Emily said...

please do. And then burn the book from which they keep getting their pithy sayings.

Some Guy said...

You must have errors in your blog post criticizing others' writings - it's Muphry's law.


Of course, I'm not going to try to find them - that would doom this comment.

40winkzzz said...

I think "organ doner" is perfectly logical. That would be someone who's done with his or her organs. (Or finished with them; whatever.)

Tyna said...

Amen! And I refuse to accept imbedded as an acceptable variant on embedded!

Chris said...

rthling's sister here... you betcha dude.

Roses Are Red, Violets are Violet said...

i would most certainly call them...Christians already get a bad rap by those too "intellectual" to be suckered in to this whole "faith" thing. Having misspelled (let alone corny) sayings up on not one, but FOUR, churches can do nothing to improve the image of the church. Argghhhh

Mo said...

I think the answer is simple. Order a ton of those marquis letters in bulk online, carry them with you in your car, and make it your personal mission and ministry from this day forward to correct any misspelling you stumble upon. I think God has given you a pretty hefty purpose here...

SarahZ said...

Misspellings..either you get it, or you don't! But the situation you describe, it's almost as if God himself is begging you, someone, anyone, to please help!!!!!